Money Talks Part 2: Past Money Messages that Drive Our Relationship with Money Today

Carolyn Leonard Money Talks, Resources from DyMynd Leave a Comment

We know that the relationships that we have today are often driven by the money messages of yesterday. In Part 2 of our review of DyMynd’s Money Talk Blog Series we reflect and analyze the key money messages that women throughout Chicago have received over the years.

When it comes to money, women were given all sorts of messages, for instances, I was told that nice girls do not talk about Money, Politics and Religion. For most of my friends the common message was to “save.” Women shared money messages like “save, save more than you spend” or “save and be responsible.” I believe in saving but you also need to understand how to invest so your money is working for you.

The second most common message we heard from our respondents is that “money has to be earned.” Women were given strong messages around the need to understand what it takes to earn money and that money is not given upon demand, in my case “it doesn’t grow on trees.” For some women this has embedded the message that they must overwork to earn their pay and can negatively feed into the gender pay gap.

The third most common money message was to “live within one’s means.” Women are often the top “couponers” and savers in the family. Other key money messages we heard related to being responsible careful spenders, were to work hard and get an education.  Some were told money is the root of all evil. Money has gotten a bad rap. In and of itself it is just a means of exchange but because of all the messaging it has come to mean so much more. In order for you to feel good about money you have to develop a “healthy” relationship with your stash.

In 2015 DyMynd conducted roundtable discussions with 50 leading women in Chicago. We asked them how they were socialized to deal with money.  While some of the old money messages remain there are new money messages surfacing about being empowered, investing in one’s education, focus on physical security first, etc. women shared the following money messages:

Women’s Past Money Messages
  • Keep separate accounts
  • Save money
  • Not talked about in the family
  • School comes first, finances second
  • To be empowered
  • Wait for a man to take care of finances
  • Reconciling parental money style with personal money habits
  • Care for care network
  • Physical security comes first

One’s relationship with money is a journey. The truth is that the money messages of the past, as much as many of them make us cringe now, were relevant at one time or another.  But in 2017 women are in much different circumstances. At DyMynd we feel it is time to tell a new story and set a new foundation for key money messages.

Women’s Current Money Messages
  • Women are 51% of the working population
  • Women represent 57% of all undergraduates
  • Over 80% of women are the lead decision maker in managing household budgets

At DyMynd we encourage women to understand their own money messages and to then “reconcile” their emotional relationship with money toward a model of financial empowerment.

DyMynd’s Key Money Messages for Today’s Woman
  • Bad Ass women talk about money, money management, and understand the value of their purse!
  • Save and then invest in your future, and make your money work for you!
  • Know your worth in the market so that you are paid your worth!
  • Each woman needs her own stash of cash for “her!”
  • Put yourself first, for all the right reasons!
  • Each woman is her own CFO!
  • It is not about living within your means it is about underwriting your values!

To gain a better sense of your emotional financial relationship with money and identify the key factors that drive your financial security take the DyMynd Financial Identity Profile. We also invite you to visit our website www.dymynd.com/blog and to continue to follow our money talks.

In part 3 of this series, we’ll talk about where women’s relationships with money sit today. Then, Money Talks will transition to focus on a new topic: angel investing. Click here to share your thoughts below!


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